Newlife 2011

Welcome to a New Year. This year is going to be so AMAZING..I have made some very BIG changes and I'm not lookinking back. I have a God in my life that when I am in doubt he reminds me that I'm never alone and thamy moto for this New Year is "FAITH IS ALL I KNOW". That has been the biggest lesson I have learned and I WILL continue to learn. Even though It feels like my FAITH is beening tested, I continue to trust in a power GREATER then myself who has shown me more then once that he knows what is best for my children and me that MY WILL is will only lead me to destruction. i am so greatful to God for my children because for the last 10yrs they are all I have ever known and the only thing I know to this current day. I am not real sure what to talk /blog about, so here it goes. I guess I will start with June 2010. Both of the kids go to California every summer to visit there dad and it's really awesome, however this summer was like no other. Trying the best I knew how, to leave it all in God's hands and to always remember that "FAITH IS ALL I KNOW". The kids got out to California with no problems, Thank you God. However I never saw it coming what was about to turn all of our lives upside down. While the kids were gone I was diagnoised with a non-curable cancer and the passing of my daddy. I really thought I was going to flip out. My daddy is the only person I have left. My mom passed away in a car accident May 2004. But my God being so AMAZING took both of them in their sleep. THANKS be to GOD. So knowning now that both of my parents are together again makes me happy and sad at the same time. The summer contined and breaking the news to the kids when they returned from summer vacation seemed so unfair. Kids are to be carefree and have no worries. Like my kids say "Mom, I'm a teenager, I'm busy". I laugh everytime they say that, only because its true and I'm loving the music of their laughing and having fun. I always want to be able to give my kids EVERYTHING I never had. God has allowed me to do just that. The kids have since returned to school and we all walk through the loss of my daddy and the children's grandpa. We were all closer then ever. We all hold each others hands and "TRUST GOD" and keep walking forward. Life is full of ups and downs and we all try to remember that GOD never gives you more then we can handle, however I think we all wonder sometimes. I may not be a teen but I have the best relationship with my kids and I am so Thankful to the GOD of my own understanding. I'm so greatful that my kids and I can talk about anything and our communication is open and AMAZING. I pray for my kids everyday and for the ppl I know and the ppl I do not know. I love the fact that my kids and I can just sit and talk and at times it can be akward but it all works out and I keep an open mind and I do not REACT to what we talk about I have learned to just RESPOND. There is a very big difference and I am so greatful I am still teachable and I pray for that everyday. With what our family has gone through we have become a much closer family and we are always making sure we are all ok. Our lives have not been perfect and I would not want that because if we did not have the bad times we would not appreciate the good times. Life is life and we have just learned to just roll with it. Life is not always what we think/feel it should be but our family has learned to keep our hands open, as if we have a beautifly in our hands and in order for it to survive you can not close your hand. We have learned so many things and so we enjoy life every single day and pack whatever we can into it, as if it were our last. I have choosen to go back to college because I love learning. I have the support of the kids as well and that means alot. The feeling of knowing that your parent(s) does not approve of what you are doing has got to be the worst feeling ever. I feel it goes for the parent(s) as well. However I can only speak for myself. So paent(s) and kid(s) always know that you are never alone and try to always remember that someone is praying you through and someone is holding your hand and that you are never alone. Well I think I am going to stop for now so I hope you enjoy your day snowy or not and try to always look for the positive in every situation you encounter and that there is always a lesson to learn. God Bless, Take Care
Katz