Confused...

Good Morning Readers, Do I  even have any readers? Probably not, it's all good. Well here it goes. I know that today I would not want to be a teenager, WOW, I mean they have so much being thrown at them all at once at times, but the streeses of being the person who is watching them go through it and it really hurts sometimes because I can not do anything to help. It at times is very confusing and I just kinda sit there at times not knowing what to say, so I do the only thing I know and that is to ALWAYS let them know how important they are and how much they are loved and that I will always be there through it all. Being able to give back all the things I never had as a child. I started scrapbooking again and at times it is so confussing or painful, but looking back and knowing that GOD walked us through it all and always will. I do not even know if this is even making sense to anyone. My treatments are making my brain like jello..JK..Maybe. I love to watch "My life as Liz" because at times that is how I feel, the only difference is I do not have friends to talk to. I do not trust very easy and therefore I keep alot of this crap bottled up inside. I try to be nice to everyone and to help people who ask for help or just try to be the kind of friend I would like to have, and sometimes it blows up in my face or it comes back in a negitive way and once again I'm so CONFUSED. I don't even know if that is how you spell it. But anyway we watched Jersey Shore last night and it is so amazing to me how 2 people can be so in love and they turn around and strongly dislike one another. Now is that confusing or what? Sorry if I am jumping around. I have found this life thing at times is very confusing. The few people I do trust I hold very close to my heart and I cherish them with every fiber of my being. I have also learned that to have good friends you have to be the best kind of friend you can be. All of these life's lessons at times feel so overwhelming. I always need to remember that I only need to focus on what is in front of me and tune everything else out. Much easier said then done, that is why thet call it practice. Well I think I'm going to stop now. I pray you all have a great weekend and please stay safe.
Katz
                                  

Life...Forever Changing..

Where do I even begin. I have so many thoughts running through my mind it feels jumbled. Is that even a word?/ haha.

           In my existence, I realized that happiness is a very subjective factor in life. Being happy doesn't depend on achieving what you want, but making the best out of what is given. Life is not fair, it never was. The only thing that can make you completely happy is CONTENTMENT. Be content on what you have, but be sure to aim high and never stop believing you can do better everytime. But if all else fails, don't forget that an ordinary you has an extraordinary GOD to back you up.

We will all go through this thing called life and the only thing that will forever be constant is CHANGE. So enbrace the change and remember that GOD has not brought you this far to drop you and know he has AMAZING plans for your life. When I feel that I can not take another step or one more thing gets thrown on my plate I need to stop and take a step back and remember that GOD does not give us more than we can handle. I even find myself questioning that at times, When I look back on a few situations in my life I see the lesson and how I have grown from it. I have also learned that whatever I go through the lesson may not always be for me but it may be for those people around me. It is so important for me to try and give back what has been so freely given to me everyday. Some days it's just a hug and other days reminding someone that they are never alone and that someone is always praying them through whatever it is they are walking through. We have to have the bad times to cherish the good times. Life is a constant stream of lessons and "WHAT DOES NOT KILL US, MAKES US STRONGER". I'm not real sure where I am going with this I just speak from my heart. I have a love affair with life today because the rug has been pulled out from underneath me, so I truely cherish everyday and THANK GOD  for another AMAZING day. God loves you more then you can imagine and he only wants the very best for you, I pray you all have a very Blessed day and be content with what you have and remember that some people do not even have shoes, a bed, shelter from the weather, food to eat or running water.
God Bless,
Katz

Newlife 2011

Welcome to a New Year. This year is going to be so AMAZING..I have made some very BIG changes and I'm not lookinking back. I have a God in my life that when I am in doubt he reminds me that I'm never alone and thamy moto for this New Year is "FAITH IS ALL I KNOW". That has been the biggest lesson I have learned and I WILL continue to learn. Even though It feels like my FAITH is beening tested, I continue to trust in a power GREATER then myself who has shown me more then once that he knows what is best for my children and me that MY WILL is will only lead me to destruction. i am so greatful to God for my children because for the last 10yrs they are all I have ever known and the only thing I know to this current day. I am not real sure what to talk /blog about, so here it goes. I guess I will start with June 2010. Both of the kids go to California every summer to visit there dad and it's really awesome, however this summer was like no other. Trying the best I knew how, to leave it all in God's hands and to always remember that "FAITH IS ALL I KNOW". The kids got out to California with no problems, Thank you God. However I never saw it coming what was about to turn all of our lives upside down. While the kids were gone I was diagnoised with a non-curable cancer and the passing of my daddy. I really thought I was going to flip out. My daddy is the only person I have left. My mom passed away in a car accident May 2004. But my God being so AMAZING took both of them in their sleep. THANKS be to GOD. So knowning now that both of my parents are together again makes me happy and sad at the same time. The summer contined and breaking the news to the kids when they returned from summer vacation seemed so unfair. Kids are to be carefree and have no worries. Like my kids say "Mom, I'm a teenager, I'm busy". I laugh everytime they say that, only because its true and I'm loving the music of their laughing and having fun. I always want to be able to give my kids EVERYTHING I never had. God has allowed me to do just that. The kids have since returned to school and we all walk through the loss of my daddy and the children's grandpa. We were all closer then ever. We all hold each others hands and "TRUST GOD" and keep walking forward. Life is full of ups and downs and we all try to remember that GOD never gives you more then we can handle, however I think we all wonder sometimes. I may not be a teen but I have the best relationship with my kids and I am so Thankful to the GOD of my own understanding. I'm so greatful that my kids and I can talk about anything and our communication is open and AMAZING. I pray for my kids everyday and for the ppl I know and the ppl I do not know. I love the fact that my kids and I can just sit and talk and at times it can be akward but it all works out and I keep an open mind and I do not REACT to what we talk about I have learned to just RESPOND. There is a very big difference and I am so greatful I am still teachable and I pray for that everyday. With what our family has gone through we have become a much closer family and we are always making sure we are all ok. Our lives have not been perfect and I would not want that because if we did not have the bad times we would not appreciate the good times. Life is life and we have just learned to just roll with it. Life is not always what we think/feel it should be but our family has learned to keep our hands open, as if we have a beautifly in our hands and in order for it to survive you can not close your hand. We have learned so many things and so we enjoy life every single day and pack whatever we can into it, as if it were our last. I have choosen to go back to college because I love learning. I have the support of the kids as well and that means alot. The feeling of knowing that your parent(s) does not approve of what you are doing has got to be the worst feeling ever. I feel it goes for the parent(s) as well. However I can only speak for myself. So paent(s) and kid(s) always know that you are never alone and try to always remember that someone is praying you through and someone is holding your hand and that you are never alone. Well I think I am going to stop for now so I hope you enjoy your day snowy or not and try to always look for the positive in every situation you encounter and that there is always a lesson to learn. God Bless, Take Care
Katz